D-Rose Practices In Full Court 5 on 5 Drills, Also Ties His Shoes Without Having To Sit Down And Takes A Piss Without Dribbling Any Pee On His Shorts

DEERFIELD, Ill. — Derrick Rose checked off another box for a possible return to action. He practiced five-on-five for the first time this season on Monday afternoon. Rose had been cleared for regular contact for weeks, but the Bulls‘ first post-All-Star break practice gave the team a chance for a full scrimmage at the Berto Center before departing for New Orleans. Bulls vice president of basketball operations John Paxson told “The Carmen, Jurko & Harry Show” last week on ESPN 1000 that Rose would participate in 5-on-5 drills after the All-Star break and the team will monitor how his body responds.

Last week, Rose said he couldn’t dunk in stride yet, giving reporters another recurring question to ask to measure his status. Noah said Rose didn’t dunk in practice. “I really don’t know,” Rose said in Boston on Feb. 13. “I’m feeling good, but like I said, if it’s where it’s taking me a long time and I’m still not feeling right, I don’t mind missing this year.” But Rose has been working out like he plans to come back soon. His teammates describe him as being the first one in the gym and the last one to leave. He’s been participating in limited practices for some time and traveling on the road.

I’ll fully admit that I’m getting sick of the constant D-Rose updates. I just want him to be back. Yesterday. But if he’s playing 5 on 5 like he did on Monday then my point about last week’s “crazy breaking news” stands. Clearly he’s coming back this year. There’s no question in my mind. Everything he has done has been to get back this year before the playoff push. But, basically what his “people” did last week was reset all of our expectations. Dangling out the fact that he may not make it back, therefore any D-Rose this year, even if he’s not very good or the dominant player we are all used to, will be a blessing. Its a brilliant move. If he comes back and can’t dunk, its, “well we’re lucky he’s back at all”, not “why can’t D-Rose dunk a basketball?”. They changed the entire perspective of the conversation. Which makes you also realize that the 19 year old D-Rose, the guy who just had his family and his city and that’s it, is long gone. He has a PR team. He has multi-million dollar contracts. He has an entire entourage of people that are making every move for him. Which is fine, it comes with the territory. We all just need to realize that things have changed. That when Derrick Rose gives an interview its really the 20 people standing behind him, coaching him on what to say, that are talking to us. It happens with every single big time athlete. It was inevitable. Its impossible for Superstars not to operate this way. And through this whole injury and Adidas contract its happened here. Not saying its a bad thing necessarily, but its a change and every time he’s in the news people need to realize how calculated it really is.

Oh and if D-Rose can’t make it back this year, we’ll be fine. Noah can run the point.